Pebbles in a Well (Backstory Part 2)

Wishing Well

“Wishing Well” by Phil Parker is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Not like too many people are going to see this, but I figured I’ll vent anyway.

My life is like a well. The water is like resources. Small, seemingly insignificant problems are like pebbles. You can throw a few pebbles in the well and it’s no big deal. However, if you get enough of them over time, the well fills up and there are no more resources available. No money, no “out”, no hope.

My phone quit charging. This is an insignificant problem. Something that I would normally say, “Oh well, it has insurance, no biggie.” I said “we can work around this” and “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal,” over a million of times.

The reason why we aren’t out in the street yet, is because we are capable of working around problems. We lasted four years with barely an income and we are all still fed, have a roof over our heads, not ill, etc. I also believe that God has helped us here and there. I know it sounds odd, but if it weren’t for some donations from the church, and a few random “coincidences” it would have been over a few months ago.

That comes to an end a few days before this month is over. Mike has applied for jobs left and right, but not one call – in spite of the fact that all of these businesses still have “help wanted” signs out.

Then there’s me. It seems that every time I start to pull ahead, an insignificant “setback” arises. I start working on the “MOMETEK” blog. I get pregnant. No problem, Mike has his job and I have nine months to make sure the blog gets ahead. Mike loses his job. No problem, we can work around this. He has a great work history. Unfortunately, there isn’t a job that would pay enough to allow us to stay in VT.

We decide pick up and move to Texas. We “accidentally” find a church that we really like. Getting a place to put our Camper, find a bunch of companies that are very interested in hiring Mike. It was almost like God wanted us there. Everything felt like it was falling into place.

This means my blog gets put on hold. We wait until after the baby is born. What was supposed to be a three-month job turns into 8 months. Problems include replacing parts of the foundation because it was actually rotting, replacing some electrical problems, a delay in the siding, a baby that had to be fed every one hour and thirty minutes.

I could go on, but we didn’t get to the campground as soon as we thought we would. We were paying for a lot that we couldn’t use.

We get to the campground and find that the jobs that were available are not anymore. We took too long in getting down there. Mike mentions that he has plenty of retirement to take the year off.

For two years, I tried keeping up the MOMETEK blog. My Amazon affiliate account got cancelled because something about Vermont Taxes. No problem (again), I’ll just (according to them) reapply and get a new ID.

After a month, in spite it was used on my MOMETEK blog, I didn’t get enough referrals (i.e. no one bother clicking on it). It got cancelled again. It didn’t matter anyway, it wasn’t like I was able to keep up on it. The internet seemed to only fail when I worked on it. Had no problems with cute cat fails on YouTube or arguing about the election with people who were wrong.

I could go on, but that’s just a very small sample on what’s been happening for the past. Four. Years. I didn’t even mention all the other problems that we had.

Recently, I’ve been working on a story blog. My kids seem to like it so I thought I use this opportunity to make something of it.

The majority of hits are crawler bots. Only a few hits or clicks from FB or Twitter.

I honestly don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. I see this on Facebook all the time. I post something to the extent of “Hey look, I’m 40 now!” and I get more than a few hits. Post something that might help my family financially… nope. Not one hit, or comment.

Another example: Post something on imgur that essentially was just what I taught myself on Gimp. The link took people to a site I used to teach myself. 350+ hits and a few upvotes. For someone who doesn’t post to imgur much, that isn’t bad.

Do it again with Blender 3D that has a link to the story site? 20+ hits and almost half were mine from checking to see how many hits I’ve had. This, in spite that I’ve linked to it on Facebook, through the story blog and twitter. I have 239 friends on FB, and over 800 followers on Twitter. I may get two hits from each.

Okay, no problem. It’s going to take a little longer than I thought. There’s a threshold that I have to cross and once I do, I won’t have to focus on promotion anymore. I’ll have to use data on my phone to try to get the hits I need.

If you made it this far (and you actually read the beginning) you know what happens next. My phone quit charging. I have no idea what happened except it was charging and it quit. I tried another charging port. Still no luck. Tried the cable with a different phone. Works fine. It doesn’t even connect to my laptop.

I definitely do not blame my followers or friends. I suspect that algorithms in Facebook would push most of my posts to the bottom. On Twitter, I don’t like spamming, so most of my posts also get pushed down. Most of my followers are also following a few hundred people who tweet all the time. Of course, the massive tweet fest probably only happens only when I post. Or so it would seem.

sigh

I’ve told Mike that I’m concerned about coming to the library today. It might catch fire.

We are going to Walmart after the movie is done and I will be getting a replacement. However, it will be almost two weeks before I get a new phone. The only time I can be online at all will be when we go to the library twice a week, and maybe a few minutes after church. I have a hard enough time trying to interact with others online as it is. The less I interact, the more likely my posts become less important on FB and Twitter.

Maybe when I get my phone back, I’ll just download Farmville and play that all day.

No, not really. I’m just too stubborn. If I was on the Titanic when it sunk, I would be that person still trying to bail the water out. Later, explorers would have found my shoes and a bucket still on board the deck.

The well is full of pebbles making the water inaccessible, and I’m in there trying to dig the pebbles out with a teaspoon.

Next : Why I’m not angry with God.

One thought on “Pebbles in a Well (Backstory Part 2)

  1. Pingback: Why I am not Mad at God | This (not so) Boring Life

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